Apocalypse...Soon!
I don't know what you have planned for the weekend, but you might want to do something a little special. If Bernard Lewis, Princeton Professor and author, is correct it might be one of your last.
Mr. Lewis believes that our friend in the turban from Tehran, President Ahmadinejad (we'll call him Ahmad from now on), has some big fireworks to celebrate this August 22nd. That date (this year anyway) corresponds to the celebration of Muhammed's "Night Flight."
The story goes thus, Muhammed escaped from Saudi Arabia on a winged horse, traveling to heaven and back. To give Christians an easy reference point imagine combining the stories of Mary and Joseph fleeing to Egypt with baby Jesus, with his triumphant return from 40 days in the wilderness after his baptism. It's sorta like that. It's a Big Deal.
Pres. Ahmad has repeatedly let people know that he believes we are nearing the end of time. In Islam (like in Christianity and Judaism) there is a major battle, which is ended by the hand of God and reappearance (or appearance, depending on religion) of the Messiah. In Islam, this Messiah is called the "hidden Imam." So how does Ahmad (a good Muslim) hasten the coming of the "hidden Imam" ? Apparently by blowing up Israel, and picking a serious fight with the U.S.
Mr. Lewis believes (and I'm starting to buy it a little myself) that Iran already has (either through their own research or bartering with North Korea or Russia) Nuclear Weapons. The fact that Pres. Ahmad and his spokesmen have stated they will give a final reply to the question of their nuclear ambissions on Aug. 22nd (the aforementioned Holy Day) only gives credence to this line of thinking.
Are you scared yet?
America is big, and quite far from Iran. It would be hard to attack us in any direct way, but Israel (or Little Satan as Pres. Ahmad likes to call them) is much closer and considerably smaller in size. Iran could blow them right off the map (along with most of the Arab World). They'd probably just attack us in a few densely populated areas with terrorist delivered bombs. Sure we'd shoot back, as would Israel, but you have to remember, the whole point of this exercise is to hasten the end of the World.
Where's the Soviet Union when you need them? Boy do I miss the days of Mutually Assured Destruction. At least with the Ruskies, we knew they didn't really want to die. With Ahmad and his pals in Tehran, not only do they long for death, they believe that bringing it about faster will please God and therefore grant them a greater reward in Paradise.
So kiss your loved ones, say your prayers, and enjoy the weekend. And let's all hope that God's not quite done with us down here, or at least that the Iranian government isn't as screw-loose as I think they are.
Mr. Lewis believes that our friend in the turban from Tehran, President Ahmadinejad (we'll call him Ahmad from now on), has some big fireworks to celebrate this August 22nd. That date (this year anyway) corresponds to the celebration of Muhammed's "Night Flight."
The story goes thus, Muhammed escaped from Saudi Arabia on a winged horse, traveling to heaven and back. To give Christians an easy reference point imagine combining the stories of Mary and Joseph fleeing to Egypt with baby Jesus, with his triumphant return from 40 days in the wilderness after his baptism. It's sorta like that. It's a Big Deal.
Pres. Ahmad has repeatedly let people know that he believes we are nearing the end of time. In Islam (like in Christianity and Judaism) there is a major battle, which is ended by the hand of God and reappearance (or appearance, depending on religion) of the Messiah. In Islam, this Messiah is called the "hidden Imam." So how does Ahmad (a good Muslim) hasten the coming of the "hidden Imam" ? Apparently by blowing up Israel, and picking a serious fight with the U.S.
Mr. Lewis believes (and I'm starting to buy it a little myself) that Iran already has (either through their own research or bartering with North Korea or Russia) Nuclear Weapons. The fact that Pres. Ahmad and his spokesmen have stated they will give a final reply to the question of their nuclear ambissions on Aug. 22nd (the aforementioned Holy Day) only gives credence to this line of thinking.
Are you scared yet?
America is big, and quite far from Iran. It would be hard to attack us in any direct way, but Israel (or Little Satan as Pres. Ahmad likes to call them) is much closer and considerably smaller in size. Iran could blow them right off the map (along with most of the Arab World). They'd probably just attack us in a few densely populated areas with terrorist delivered bombs. Sure we'd shoot back, as would Israel, but you have to remember, the whole point of this exercise is to hasten the end of the World.
Where's the Soviet Union when you need them? Boy do I miss the days of Mutually Assured Destruction. At least with the Ruskies, we knew they didn't really want to die. With Ahmad and his pals in Tehran, not only do they long for death, they believe that bringing it about faster will please God and therefore grant them a greater reward in Paradise.
So kiss your loved ones, say your prayers, and enjoy the weekend. And let's all hope that God's not quite done with us down here, or at least that the Iranian government isn't as screw-loose as I think they are.
posted by Daddy Rogue at 1:33 AM
5 Comments:
I'll have something to say about this on the 23rd.
Not man enough to stand up with an opinion now, eh?
that was my opinion: the 23rd. i'm more than confident that the End will not be in the next two weeks. and if it is...well, i guess you get the bragging rights.
Bragging rights will be fairly useless at the end of time, don't you think?
by default you are correct, sir. :)
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