top stories: 10/7-10/13/2006

hello all. it appears the time has come for this week's installment of 'top stories.' so, lets get to it, shall we?

north korea drops the bomb:

or more acurately: sets the bomb down gently in an abandoned mine shaft, lights the fuse, and runs away real fast. north korea released a statement claiming a successful nuclear test, but it turns out that this claim was just a bit exaggerated. turns out that according to seismic data collected the explosion was (like kim jong il, himself) much smaller than expected (*zing!!*). seriously, it seems this test, like the launching of taipo dong 2 missles earlier this year, was less of a success then everyone's favorite little dictator's propaganda ministry would have us believe. the big boom did get our president a bit huffy; bush has called for serious sanctions for north korea until they acquiesce to our desires...and as we all know, sanctions (especially UN ones) always work.

speaking of sanctions...

the UN plans to bring the hurt to north korea:

and by hurt i of course mean that they are planning to vote on saturday whether or not to ask north korea politely to stop what they are doing or else. and by else i of course mean the UN will have to ask them politely to stop again. keep up the good work guys.

out with the annan, in with the ban:

maybe 'little kim' will be a bit more careful where he sticks his nukes now that there will be a south korean as secretary general of the UN. yep, the UN general assembly approved on friday ban ki moon to be the successor of kofi annan; he will be come the first asian secretary general in over 30 years...i don't think that statistic really matters, it's not like there has been an intentional 30 year moratorium on electing asian diplomats, but every news source seems to mentioning it so i will too. annan praised ban as a man who is remarkably qualified for the position. if anann's endorsement rings true, ban's rein will almost certainly continue the legacy of ineffectiveness which has been handed down like a bejewled scepter from secretary general to secretary general for sixty years. gotta love a tradition.

now to the important stuff.

welcome to the google empire youtube:

$1.65 BILLION!! let me show you that in zeros $1,650,000,000...that's how much google will pay for the video site. how will this change youtube?--well, not much according chad hurley, ceo of youtube. turns out google will buy the site but allow it to operate independently. that's about it for this story...i just put it in the top stories because that number is absolutely ridiculous. good for google, good for youtube.

now, sad news:

country, bluegrass, and blues is what it stands for, but it shall not stand for much longer. better known as the CBGB, the bowery neighborhood club whose stage graced the likes of patti smith, joan jett, the talking heads, bad brains, and (of course) the ramones will close its doors for the last time this sunday. after 33 years in new york the club will close because of a tenant-landlord dispute. that landlord could expect several angry letters from disgruntled ramones fans if it were not for the fact that, as we all know, most ramones fans can't read. but don't despair my punkrock friends, the CBGB will reopen...but if you live in new york, it will be a bit of a commute; hilly kristal, the 74-year-old owner of the club (by the way, how cool is it that a 74-year-old owns a punkrock club...'don't break your hip in the mosh pit, grandpa!') will move west...to vegas, baby! because nothing goes with the glamor and glitz of las vegas like old school punk rock. oi! oi! i've got $500 on red.

and last but not least:

APATHY AS ACTIVISM REACHES 2000 HITS!!! we'd like to thank you for your support and by you i mean our 3 regular readers and by support i mean logging on to AaA and hitting the 'refresh' button repeatedly. we couldn't have done it without you guys. you are what makes AaA the obscure political blog that it is. we love you...platonically.

alright kids. that's our top stories for the week. hope you enjoyed them. until next time...

Sometimes Victory Comes from Defeat, Other Times You Never Deserved Victory in the First Place

I'm fairly conservative. In a lot of ways, very conservative. I say "fairly" though, because of a few social issues about which I line up on the liberal side of the fence. I'm a proud Republican, and have voted (not once, but) twice for President Bush. I understand that if the Democrats gain control of half of congress (or especially both halves) they will make the last two years of Bush's Presidency one long painful episode. They (the Democrats) will likely try to force the withdrawal of troops from Iraq. They will endlessly investigate, suggest and outright accuse the President (and other leading Republicans) of falsifying intelligence that led us to Iraq, as well as all the other scandals the Republicans are involved in. The next two years will not be pretty if the Democrats win, and I know it. But, I've decided I might not mind if they do.

How does a reasonable, conservative fellow like myself, come to such a conclusion? After long thought, consideration and, frankly, a little prayer. I'm going to try to lay out my reasons in as organized a manner as I can, and hopefully I'll make a few of you see the light at the end of the tunnel after this possible loss.

1. The Republicans have become far too complacent in the position of power. -- No one could argue against this point. Scandal after scandal has come out in the past few years, which even when you account for exaggeration and sensationalism by the left-leaning media, seems to imply that this guys are no longer on the side of right. The big ticket issues (Social Security reform) get pushed aside, while overall spending and pork barrel waste continues to balloon. The GOP has been without a real opponent for so long, there is no more rush to govern. They just assume they'll be in power forever.

2. Barring a complete landslide victory (highly unlikely) the Democrats would be unable to actually "cut and run." -- I have no doubt that Nancy Pelosi, and Howard Dean would love to win control of Congress, immediately withdraw troops from Iraq and have scenes of them waving flags as troops arrive back in the states on the nightly news. This would be the worst thing that could happen for Iraq, the Middle East, and the U.S. The good news is even if they win and win big, they wouldn't be able to push this sort of thing through. Enough Republicans (and a few reasonable Democrats) would understand the horrible results of such a move and keep it from happening. This is the only real harm the Democrats could do in the next couple of years, and they wouldn't be allowed to do it.

3. It would revitalize the Right. -- The intellectual right has been stagnant for a while. Probably as a combination of being occasionally ignored by this administration and a dizzying series of political victories. Putting them on the outside looking in would remind them of all the things that still need to be fixed in the nation's capital, and would give them that "underdog hunger" again. I think a slight win by the Democrats in '06 would lead to a landslide victory for the Republicans in '08.

4. It gives the Democrats just enough rope... -- ...to hang themselves that is. No one is a better spokesman for the Republican Party than the Democratic Party and it's leaders. Why not give them center stage to showcase their inaptitude to the American people?

5. It provides a perfect opportunity for Sen. McCain. -- If you've read more than a couple of posts here at "Apathy as Activism" then you know that I think John McCain is the ideal choice to be the next President of the United States. He is the current front-runner for the Republican nomination, and the only thing that stands between him and the nom. is his "maverick" reputation. If Republicans maintain power, there will be those within the party that take that as a sign that nothing is wrong, that no change is required. A more "faithful" candidate will receive some of that party support and could sink McCain's candidacy before it starts (just like George W. Bush did). If however, the Republicans are on the outside looking in for the next two years, McCain will look like a man with foresight (which is exactly what he is). I'd gladly trade a few house seats now, for the Presidency in '08.

The Republican party has had an unheard of run of success. They've racked up victory after victory, with few setbacks in between since the 1980 election of Ronald Reagan. A lot of good has been done in that time, by a lot of men and women that were hungry for change. I think it's become clear that the Republican party (or at least the leadership) is no longer hungry for change. It's time to put them on a diet, and if it takes a Democratic victory this November, this is one Republican that is ready to eat his humble pie.

Today's Top New Stories: October 6, 2006

First off, a hearty happy birthday to my partner Stereotype. He's managed 26 years on the planet without the thought police shutting him down, so I guess he's gotten pretty good at hiding. Bully for him. Now to the real business.

Worried about Impending North Korean Nuclear test, the United Nations Brings out the Big Guns, Begging

In celebration of the ninth anniversary of Kim Jong Il's appointment as head of the Korean Worker's Party, North Korea has announced that they're going to set off some big fireworks. Nuclear fireworks to be specific. Japan has led the charge to warn against the proposed Nuclear test, which makes sense as they are a strong American ally, and about a stone's throw (very short in nuclear terms) from North Korea.

The United Nations Security Council (or as I like to call them, the Completely Useless Club) has expressed "deep concern." Which is the exact same way they responded to the news that Jennifer Anniston and Angelina Jolie were feuding over Brad Pitt. North Korea responded to the council with what I believe is called a "raspberry."

North Korea's Not the Only Bad Little Nation Getting Scolded

While the Security Council expressed "deep concern" over North Korea's apparently joining the nuclear club, diplomats from six of the world's powers are "deeply disappointed" with Iran's attempt to do the same thing. Representatives from the United States, Great Britain, France, Germany, Russia and China all met today, to discuss the appropriate actions to take against Iran, who has thus far refused to stop Uranium enrichment.

The biggest possibility is economic sanctions, but because of Russia and China's economic ties to Iran, they are likely to be fairly weak. For instance, a nation wouldn't be allowed to sell armaments such as tanks, rocket launchers, and missiles to Iran, except on Thursdays...and the second Monday of every month...and Fridays when the following Monday is the first, third or fourth Monday of the month...or any day ending in "y." Those sanctions could almost single-handedly destroy Iran's military might.

...Now are We Going to Put a Guy with Ties to the Mob in Charge of Chasing Down Organized Crime? What? We Already Did That?

Mark Foley, who had served as chairman of the House Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus, has turned out to be one of the guys that group was supposed to protect kids from. I gotta tell you, other than the above headline, I can't think of much about this story that is funny. Nothing in fact. The scandal and resulting investigations does look to color the upcoming elections, and may be the final straw that allows Democrats to take control of one or both houses. It also may cost Dennis Hastert his job. I'm not sure that would be such a bad thing. You'll hear more from me on this whole issue (and the November elections) this weekend.

House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi, Confuses Congress with the University of Florida's Stadium, Vows to "Drain the Swamp"

...and she's going to be quick about it. Rep. Pelosi says her first 100 hours in office as Speaker of the House would include, lobby reform, enacting all the recommendations of the 9/11 commission, raising the minimum wage to $7.25, cutting student loan interest rates in half, and pharmaceutical price reform. Then, theoretically, she'll become fat and lazy just like the Republicans have, but those first 100 hours are going to be golden, man. Pelosi says that she feels confident that Democrats can take over control of the House of Representatives for the first time in 12 years. They would need to win a net of 15 seats, they are currently in the running for 30 Republican seats, while Republicans only have a handful of opportunities to pick up Democratic seats.

Do you want to know something scary? I think I've decided I wouldn't mind the Democrats winning this election. I promise I'll provide more details tomorrow. Until then, this has been Top Stories, and remember, If we don't laugh about it, we'd have to cry about it.